ASU’s Dirty Little Column with Dr. Doitright

Dr. Doitright is not a real doctor or mental health professional. The doctor’s advice should not be taken seriously. 


Dear Dr. Doitright: 

I had the most wonderful holiday! After school broke out on Friday, December 14th, I thought I’d release all the stress that came with final exams and go to France for a lonesome getaway. I went believing that I had nothing to lose and if I did, it wouldn’t matter.

A few days passed and I found little excitement. All the people were spending time with their families and friends, putting up trees and dancing in the streets. Another lonely evening came when I decided to visit the park close to my quarters. I walked slowly towards the pond to see the ducks, but before I could bless my eyes upon such peaceful creatures I stumbled on a rock. Thankfully, I fell comfortably in the arms of a 30-year-old Frenchman. We hung out that night but I haven’t heard from him since. Should I call him or should I wait until he calls?

– Reliving a Fantasy



My child, it seems you struck gold in fantasyland but don’t expect such magic to spark twice. It all depends on the relationship the two of you developed while you were “hanging out.”

Many people forget the people they met while they were on vacation in less than week because they didn’t have enough time to build a relationship. You, on the other hand, are the type who will never forget.

My advice is that you call him two times and if he does not answer your call, just wait. Don’t be too disappointed, just move on with your life and celebrate the wonderful time you once had with a Frenchman.


Dear Dr. Doitright:

Why the heck is it so cold in Alamosa, and why is it so hard to find a cuddle buddy?

I hardly see anyone on campus in the late evenings and whenever I see the women during the day, they are covered from head to toe. I’ve been so lonely in this cold weather that I’m having a hard time falling asleep. It seems I have to go to a game and seek the cute girls out, or maybe I can hang out at Walmart and hope I can bump into a woman’s shopping cart. Then, of course, I’d ask her for her number. Ugh, this lonely small town called Alamosa.

– Cold and Lonely



This has been one of the coldest winters in many years but you do not need a cuddle buddy to get through it. Wrap yourself in warm blankets at nights and wear layers to school each day.

Stop searching for something that you do not need. The important thing is surviving the harsh weather. is powered by WordPress µ | Spam prevention powered by Akismet