Dr. Doitright is not a real doctor or mental health professional. The doctor’s advice should not be taken seriously.
Dear Dr. Doitright:
I want to be loved; that is all I need! My boyfriend only tells me he loves me when I do things, like buy him a ticket to see his favorite band, serve him dinner, take him to the Rialto, or shovel the snow out of the driveway. He literally does nothing at home! I often wonder why I’m breaking my back rushing home from school to cook his lunch every day. He does not even have a real job. All he does is eat, sleep, poop, and when he feels like, shower. He’s a volunteer public servant for crying out loud! Why can’t he get up off his rump, get a real job or even appreciate the care I show him? Once, I brought him to the Brewery and, would you believe he ordered enough food to feed a family of six, didn’t eat it all, and turned around expecting me to pay the bill? I cried so hard in my bathroom that night that I slipped in my own tears. If he loves me for the true me and not the things I can offer him, I’d feel much better, but I won’t get that, no sir, and it will be hard for me to find someone else because I’m not an average female when it comes to my physical appearance. Please tell me what to do.
— Lonely and Mistreated
My friend, bums will always be bums and your boyfriend is one of them. He may seem to have love for you but that love is a different kind of love. You do not need to do that much work to make your relationship work. It takes two to stay together; it’s a fifty-fifty effort. Don’t let this guy continue to belittle you. Forget about your physical appearance and keep in mind the old saying, “every man on this earth was made for woman.” So don’t you worry, the one who will love you for you is out there somewhere. You seem to be a very bright young lady, and you surely deserve better.
Dear Dr. Doitright:
How do I tell the girl I’m messing with that we’re not together and I don’t want to move in with her? I met this girl at new student orientation and we’ve been messing ever since. We both play sports so we’d meet up after practice or after our games, but we’ve never displayed any affection in public. This is why I wonder why she’d wanna move in with me. All I wanna do is hit but it seems like she wanna start a life with me or somn’. I ain’t about that life, son. This girl gotta go! But she’s so freakin’ emotional that I think she’d go crazy if I tell her no. Yow, I ain’t gonna lie, she would make a great girlfriend but I ain’t got time for that lovey dovey type of thing.
— Just In It for the Benefits
I’ll give it to you straight, you are a user! It may seem that you both have benefited out of this act, but now that things are getting more intense you wish to quit because you were more into it for the easy pleasure. I would advise you to no longer lead this young lady on but tell her how you truly feel. The weaker side of you loves being with her but the stronger side is afraid of committing to her. Please think this through before you do anything to hurt her further.