Dr. Doitright and Don Juan are not real doctors or mental health professionals. The doctors’ advice should not been taken seriously.
Dear DLC: My first cousins told me that when I get to college I’ll have the experience of a life time and they were right! I am a 21-year-old female living in one of the apartments on campus.
I’ve had the most exciting time of my life at Adams but now all that excitement has turned into great sorrow.
I just found out that my boyfriend was actually a female, even though I’ve been with him for the past 6 1/2 months.
I overheard his friends (girls) talking about some dude that was a female and how much more fun he was than he is now. So I entered, laughing, readily curious to hear about this. I asked them if he comes here and they seemed astonished.
One of them quickly jumped on her feet and asked why I’m acting like I don’t know it’s my boyfriend.
I can’t explain what happened after, but all I know is that I woke up in the hospital and I haven’t talked with him since.
My boyfriend has never showed me any signs of being a female but that maybe because I wasn’t looking for that. I really don’t know how I could have been so blind and foolish.
So, since he was a female, does that make me a lesbian?
Doitright: No, you’re not a lesbian because he is no longer a female; however, there’s a grey area there.
I am sorry that you find yourself in such a messed up situation. But please don’t let this be your downfall in life. You’ve already been to the hospital for him don’t let it happen again.
He should have told you before you guys got serious, but who would want to tell someone they love/like that they were of another gender.
Such things happens to the best of us but you must make a decision that you are going to move on.
It won’t happen automatically. You will have to rise up and say, ‘I don’t care how hard this is, I don’t care how disappointed I am, I’m not going to let this get the best of me. I’m moving on with my life’ because if you don’t, you’ll end up falling deeper for this person.”
Don Juan: You’re not a lesbian unless you possibly could have known that he was once a woman.
You don’t have to beat yourself up for not knowing. But take this time to think about what you really want in a relationship, if your boyfriend fulfills those needs then could you live with the fact that he used to be a girl?
If you think you can find someone of the opposite sex that you think can fulfill those needs as good as if not better than your boyfriend, then I would suggest staying friends but trying to look for someone you can have a committed relationship with.