ASU’s Dirty Little Column

Dr. Doitright is not a real doctor or mental health professional. The doctor’s advice should not be taken seriously.

Dear Dr. Doitright:
I woke up around 7am on Valentine’s Day, opened my dorm room door and found a big red box with a beautiful pink ribbon tied to the top.
I started crying; tears of love, tears of joy. My boyfriend is not really the gift-giver so I really didn’t expect anything.
In fact, we haven’t spoken for a couple days, so that’s why my tears flowed so heavily. Anyway, I took the box inside and woke my roommates, just to share my joy with them. So there we were, surrounding the box, panting hard, anticipating that big tiger teddy bear that I’ve been longing for. We removed the wrap and ribbon, and then we removed the fifty layers of sparkling papers.
Then there it was a tiny pink box with an engagement ring inside. At the bottom of the box was a blue paper; it read:“Dear Tunkai, I love you more today than yesterday. My queen, please be dressed for dinner at 7pm.”
We all begun screaming with excitement but then we realized, there is no one living in our suite named Tunkai.
— What a Morning
Doitright: Aha! I’m sorry your boyfriend didn’t turn out to be Mr. Charming but I do hope your relationship with him works out. I also hope you and your friends will return the gift to the rightful person and be sure to apologize for the young man’s honest mistake. Thank you for sharing. is powered by WordPress µ | Spam prevention powered by Akismet