ASU’s Dirty Little Column with Doitright and the Don

Dr. Doitright and Don Juan are not real doctors or mental health professionals. The doctors’ advice should not be taken seriously.

Dear DLC, 

I’m in a serious ditch and I don’t know how to dig myself out of it!. I’ve been dating my girlfriend for the past 4 1/2 years and things have been great, for her, not me.
She gives me everything I want and I do the same for her too. It’s just that whatever she does is never satisfying enough to suit my needs.
Things like lingerie do nothing to turn me on. She even when as far as having her best girlfriend over so the three of us could set it off, but it still wasn’t enough. 
Whenever she asks if I love her I would quickly change the subject because I know my heart belongs to someone else.
Yes, my heart belongs to someone else. My heart belongs to a 6’ 7” tall, vanilla, cherry lips, a model type body kind of guy. He is everything I ever need. I’ve been seeing him on the side a year after I started dating my girlfriend, but I kept it behind closed doors.
I’ve even spent an entire month with him during the summer at a popular hotel in the Springs and told my girlfriend I was visiting with my high school friends. Now, we’re getting much more serious so I wanna let my girlfriend go.
How do I tell her I’m gay? Or am I bisexual? Well, regardless, how do I tell her I wanna be with him?

Doitright: This a tough decision young man and you should know that it will haunt you for the rest of your life. But, do you think it is fair to have been cheating on your girlfriend with a guy for over  three years?
No, it’s not. Imagine how you’d feel if you found out that the guy you’ve been cheating on her with is in love with another guy or is not as in love with you as you think.
I believe the best thing for you to do, of course, is to allow your girlfriend to find someone who loves her entirely and is not gay/bisexual.
But then again, she may be ok with you having another man so I guess you should sit with her and let her know how you feel. Then, you both will find the best solution.

Don Juan: You definitely need to sit down and have a talk with your girlfriend and take everything she gives you because you shouldn’t be fooling her any longer.
I am sorry you had to find out the bounds of your sexuality with her but she deserves the right to know that you don’t love her like she thinks you do.
It will only make it worse the longer you wait and you will only hate yourself the more you cheat.
Bottom line is to be a man and fess up, because only you can make things right. is powered by WordPress µ | Spam prevention powered by Akismet