ASU’s Dirty Little Column with Doitright and the Don

I am an abused husband. My wife and I have been together for fourteen years and she has been verbally abusing me for the past ten years.
We have three children, one of whom is not mine. Yes, she had the outside child during the marriage but I’ve tried everything to put it behind me and make it work for the sake of the children.
She often lashes out at me when my high school girlfriend calls to check up on me and the kids. In fact, that’s the main reason for the abuse, my ex.
But isn’t it stupid for her to be holding on to such a grudge. I don’t know what to with her any more. 
We’ve been to counseling, both from our pastor and our marriage counsellor but none of them seem strong enough to break the ice.
She watches every move I make and always have something smart to say, she calls me worthless (all because I got laid off last month), and she even cusses me out in front of the kids. This woman was so sweet and kind before I married her, so what changed?

Dr. Doiright: Dear verbally abused husband, please fight, with all your love and will to keep your marriage strong. I know it’s hard but you made a vow to be with her till death and I believe you should keep your word.
You may have to change your counsellor or seek help from elderly members of both sides of your family, family elders who are unbiased and just.
Sometimes all we need is to hear what we’re doing wrong from our own family.
You never know, your wife may be regretful in marrying you or having children for you, or she may just be tired of playing the mother and wife role that she needs a break. But all these are just assumptions so you need to find a way to get her to look within herself and tell you what’s wrong with her or the marriage.
Sometimes deep scars surface later in our lives and cause much more pain than its first blow so that is why you need to find out if its something that you/her did/didn’t do in the past that’s affecting your marriage now.
Work hard at it my friend, I know it’s difficult, but always remember your vows; for better or worse, for rich or poor, in sickness and in health, till death do you part.