ASU’s Dirty Little Column with Doitright and the Don

Dear DLC, I am a retired masseuse of age 59, but, although I am retired, I am not happy. It has become difficult for me to please men and I’m wondering if it’s because I’ve hit menopause (only a few years ago). The problem lies within the bedroom.
Don’t get me wrong, I am still as flexible as I was when I was 25 but it appears I’ve ran out of gas in other places. What can I do? I just met a guy at an event held by ASU and things are getting serious. Please help me before we move to the next level.Dr Doitright: Congratulations on your retirement my dear, I am sorry you are not enjoying it. You need to visit with your doctor and discuss the issue as this is much bigger than a simple advice. In some cases, you may just be missing the ‘spark’ you need to get you going again. Let us hope it’s something simple. Thank you and good luck.Dear DLC, I’ve lost the passion I once had for my wife. No, I am not cheating on her with a woman nor do I have sexual feelings for a man, I simply lost interest in her. She gained a couple pounds after she returned from her trip to Switzerland last summer and I didn’t bother to say anything to her about it since I didn’t think it was a big deal. But for Christ’s sake, the woman went from a size 6 dress to a size 14. How can a brother keep up with that? I’ve got one foot in and one foot out the door.

Dr. Doitright: Never forget the woman you married and the vows you agreed upon. So what if she gained a few pounds, go jogging with her, help her do a few abs here and there. Just don’t sit back and watch her turn into a barrel! Marriages are tough, I know, but you need to remember that in any relationship one has to give more than he receives. So please, help her lose the weight if you may and then you may find room in your heart to grow the passion you once had.

Dear DLC, I travel to Denver for home every weekend and last weekend was no exception. While driving down to Denver, I got a text from my ex. The text was written with so much passion that I had to pullover. He was telling me how much he misses me and how bad he wanted me “right now.” He brought back the good memories and even apologized for the bad. We were together for quite sometime so my feelings for him came back even stronger. I told him I’d meet up with him when I get to Denver, and I did. I spent the entire weekend with him. But the problem is that I’m getting married soon and my fiancé is a very loving man who has never done anything to hurt me.  Do you think I should go back to my ex? We have history together but my fiancé and I are getting ready to create our own.
Dr. Doitright: It will not be easy for you to move on after a breakup, especially if you find yourself attached to the person. But you should look back at the time you and your ex were together and compare your passed experience with the new experience you’ve created with your fiancé. Then, if you have done so fairly, you will find the answer. Your fiancé has never done you wrong so why would you want to go back to the one who has? Don’t torture yourself.  Move forward my child.

Don Juan: Ex-es are very tempting to go back to because you have so many memories and feelings shared together that it would be easy for you to just jump right back in where you left off. Well there is a reason why you broke up in the first place. Somewhere along the line they stopped caring for you, and it’s only a matter of time before it happens again. You shouldn’t go back to them because they want to change for you, you should go back to them because they want to change for the better of themselves. On the other hand you have someone who truly cares about you and loves you dearly. I think that it would eat you up inside knowing that you are hurting someone who loves and cares about you and wouldn’t do a thing in the world to hurt you.