Dirty Little Column: April 1

Dear DLC:  Where is the best place on campus to have semi-public sex?  We like the adventure but we don’t want to get caught.

DGL:  What, do you want a list?  I hear the library late at night is pretty good, but that’s sort of tame.  How about breaking into Carson Auditorium and doing it on the stage? You could go up to the Loft (I mean, unless there’s an event, you’re unlikely to encounter anyone but the guy who works up there – and I bet he’d be into it) or, if you’re really daring, you could you could deflower the Japanese Garden outside of ES

DTL:  Adventure is definitely good! Getting caught…not so much.  I’m not entirely sure I should tell you where some semi-public places are to have sex on campus.  I kind of like keeping my secrets to myself!  IF you’re serious about this though you might consider some of the open and empty classroom, the “private” study rooms in the library, and, if you’re really feeling adventurous, there’s always the great outdoors.  Who really looks at the 50-yard line in the dark anyway?

Dear DLC:  I was one of several students who traveled to a conference this spring and while we were out there, I hooked up with another girl who was on the trip. I’ve never hooked up with a girl before, I don’t think she has either and now that we’re back its really awkward.  We’re in a bunch of classes together and we’re the same major!  Should I avoid her? 

DTL:   I think avoiding her would make the situation even more awkward.  I mean, you obviously liked this person enough to hook up with her, why wouldn’t you like her now?  I get that we all have one night stands once in awhile, but in my opinion honesty is the best policy – not avoidance. Why don’t you two go get a beer and talk about it?  The beer will help ease the tension, maybe in more ways than one…

DGL: What does she seem to be saying with her eyes? Does she want to avoid you? Do you WANT to avoid her? I mean, sure you’ve never hooked up with a girl before but how did it go?  Would you do it again? With her?  Think about what happened and what it means to you – are you pleased, grossed out, horny for more?  Go with your gut. 

**Dr. Goodlove and Professor Toughlove are not real doctors or mental health professionals. Their advice should not be taken seriously.

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