Dr. Doitright is not a real doctor or mental health professional. The doctor’s advice should not be taken seriously.
Dear Dr. Doitright:
I am a 32-year-old white male from Centre but I attend Adams State. Two years ago I started dating an 18-year-old I met in my Civ 110 class. Although she’s from La Jara, she often travels back home with me on the weekends. We would go various attractions each week and we would also try something new every time we bonded. However, all that was sweet and lovely until we separated a month ago. Her reason for parting is due to my inability to “rise to the occasion” every time she wants me to. I’m pleased to tell you that I am of average size and stamina, but sometimes I’m just not into the mood. Gone are the days when doing such activity was the first thing on my mind; this time I wanted to settle, this time I want a wife. But she doesn’t want me! I’m devastated by that! All I wanted was for her to be mine. Is there something wrong with that?
— Not Enough for Her
You should have tried talking to her about the situation because now all you’ve done is make it worse. Many women are like your ex; they will go on forever. Maybe it’s a good thing that you guys have separated, because she seems to be much more outgoing than you are. You need to find a lady that’s on your level, someone more like you. Sometimes we take on challenges that are much bigger than we can handle. Keep your head up.
Dear Dr. Doitright:
I read your column every Thursday so I wanted to share one of my problems with you. I am in a relationship but my boyfriend spends most of his time playing pool or going to Weekends. We used to spend a lot of time together, when we just started dating. Now, it has gotten to the point where I can’t do anything with him. Recently he told me he got involved with another woman when we hit our six month anniversary. He asked me to forgive him and I told him I will but I don’t think I can ever be intimate with him again. Can you believe he cheated on me with a woman that doesn’t even live in Alamosa?
Then, he had the audacity to tell me that in a relationship things do happen. I agreed, but I don’t have any ties to him. Thank God we didn’t go much further. We don’t have kids and we are not married. I am a 19 year old attending college part-time because my parents do not have the money to have me go full-time. So I work when I can to support myself. Where does he come off? I am trying to make life better for myself, and possibly him, and he finds time to cheat? Tell me, why should I stay? I told him to go to hell, literally. He is still trying to get back to me but assured him he has no chance. He tried to get me pregnant but I am much smarter than he is. I would use the female condom and birth control. I also make sure that I check his condom before he takes it off, just to make sure it wasn’t leaking. I feel so sorry for the woman he is messing around with now because he is either gonna get her pregnant or give her a disease. I want all women out there to stand up for themselves and pay attention to what’s going on in your relationship. Thank you, Doctor, and keep up the wonderful work.
— Smarter than Him
You are truly a smart young lady so you need not give him another chance. I hope you will move on with your life and find a better man that will respect you entirely. Don’t be discouraged, life goes on.