Dr. Doitright is not a real doctor or mental health professional. The doctor’s advice should not be taken seriously.
Dear Dr. Doitright:
I may be the last virgin left in ASU, and it’s a pain in the rear. I’ve always been my own person; I dress the way I feel, talk without slangs, I don’t go to parties, I don’t smoke, and I definitely don’t drink. All these things have been such a bother to the people around me. The fact that I play a popular sport on campus does not make it any easier. In fact, I’ve been laughed at for being “too boring” or “too stuck-up.” So I guess I’m missing something; because I dare to be different, I am mocked. You wanna know what I think? I think the coolest thing is me knowing that God is in our presence and we ought to lift up His name, thanking Him, worshiping Him. I sure don’t think I am “boring” or “stuck-up,” I just love the real me. Is that wrong of me?
— Strong in my Beliefs
It’s kind of a miracle that you are the only virgin left on this campus, given how many I know. How do you know you are the only one? You seem to be just as judgmental as the people around you. You talk about your Creator so highly, yet you are going against all that your Creator wants you to do. You need to present yourself more like a respectable young man or woman who everyone will gravitate towards. No one said being a virgin is a good or bad thing, but when you act like you are the best person in the world just because you decided not to have sex, you are degrading those who thought of trying it and have tried it. Don’t get me wrong, I respect you for holding on to your beliefs. That’s something you should always do. However, you need to work on your ostentatious attitude.
Dear Dr. Doitright:
Even though most of my friends smoke marijuana, I prefer tobacco. However, it has become a bother to my most recent boyfriend because he smokes marijuana with his friends daily and I’m always at the side dancing in the tobacco smoke. All the loving strolls we used to take to the park after our final class of the day have stopped. I mean, he spends most his time with this group of bums and he has neglected me. I don’t know why all this has happened to me. We were supposed to meet his parents after exams and spend the entire summer together but now he is talking about taking a trip to one of his friend’s cabin, calling it “an All-Boys Summer.” So tell me, what am I left to do? I believe he is trying to tell me I have become boring and unattractive.
— Left in the Smoke Cloud
My friend, nothing you’ve described tells me this boy is not attracted to you. All your boyfriend seems to want right now is some alone time with the boys, having a good time away from you. It may sound harsh, but it’s true. Have you ever asked him why he spends that much time with them? Maybe you need to do that first before you assume.
Also, smoking is bad for your health so I would advise you to desist.
Dear Dr. Doitright:
I have had a hard childhood because my mother was a prostitute and my father left when I was three. My six brothers and four sisters, all from different men, had to sell candy at school to get by because the money my mom took home in the wee hours of the morning was never enough for all of us to go to school. Things were so bad that we had to cook outside and buy meat (which would mostly be chicken liver and gizzards because it’s cheaper) on the day we were cooking because we didn’t own a refrigerator. Sometimes we had to stay home from school to help her, since she was often so darn high. I used to tell myself that I’d never be like her but I’m beginning to think I am no different. After working my way through high school and making it here, I decided to let my hair down. I would party Thursday through Sunday and most of my partying involved alcohol and illegal substances. I would go home with a different guy almost every weekend and the guys often gave me money. The guys I went home with are always grown men, often dressed in nice shirts with long ties and dressed shoes. However, on a Monday, it hit me: I am wasting my life. I am giving away myself to any and everyone that “looks good,” and I certainly need help. So after reading your letters and seeing how much you’ve inspired low-life like me, I wanted to share my story, just to see if you could dig me out of this hole. Thank you and keep up the good work.
— Following Her Footsteps
Thank God you caught yourself before you get a disease or become pregnant. My child, you are living a reckless life and you need to stop right now. The fact that you worked your way through high school shows me, and everyone else, that you can do anything. Do not continue along this path as you will find yourself in not just a hole, but a gutter. Find something to do on campus: for example, join the CASA group, located next to the parking lot at the Nielson Library. There are many other groups/clubs on campus you could join as well, and that will help to occupy your time. Go to the Student Life Center on campus and ask for David, he will gladly introduce all the groups to you and I’m sure you will find one to your liking.