Dr. Doitright and Don Juan are not real doctors or mental health professionals. The doctors’ advice should not be taken seriously.
I am writing to you with tears in my eyes because I am in love with a guy who is 7 1/2 years older than me and we’ve been together for four years. In the first 6mths, I got pregnant but I terminated the pregnancy because I was in high school at the time. Since then, things have been rough. I’ve caught him cheating on me on many occasions but now he has gone overboard; I caught him cheating on me with my stepsister. What should I do? I love him and I know he loves me too but I am tired of the cheating.
Love 101: You became sexually active when you were in your early teens and it is very unfortunate that he is taking you for granted and treating you as if you are not worthy of being his true love. It seems that he has forgotten what it’s like to love you and only you and his “young love” has now died out. Maybe he has found more of what he had found in you with another woman, or in this case, many other women.
I suggest, therefore, that you try your best to get an education because men will always be around. Don’t allow his childish, hurtful and selfish behavior to get you depressed. Depression will cause you to be stressed and we wouldn’t want that. You have your whole life ahead of you; focus on what’s important. Consider him as a friend, but move on with your life.
Don Juan: It seems that your self-confidence level is extremely low. Over the four-year period that you two have been together your partner has cheated on you multiple times even with your sister and you are still with him? Here is a reality check, he doesn’t love you; he just says that to keep his convenient situation going. Leave him and be done with it!
I am a 26-year-old Virgo who is 125lbs overweight and I believe that is why a guy won’t even look at me. I find it difficult to find a date or even have male friends. When I go to parties, whether at the clubs in Alamosa or house parties promoted by a football player or other popular students, I never have anyone to dance or even share a beer with. My friends, who are normally girls, are always the ones in the middle of the dance floor, grinding on the studs and having a good time. Why won’t anyone dance with me? Why can’t I find a date? I know I consider myself to be a beautiful young lady so shouldn’t that count? Is my weight an issue?
Love 101: Dear Virgo, you seem to be caught in the midst of the storm but let me make it very clear that your weight is not the problem; it’s the guys that you think are worthy enough to be with you. Yes, you are 125lbs overweight but there are many guys out there that are dating women that are overweight so don’t even think for a second that this is your problem.
I implore you to have patience, one day your true stud will show up when you least expect it. But in the mean time, work on loosing the weight so that you can be healthy as being overweight affects your health somehow. Don’t degrade yourself because of how you look as who you are truly defines the real YOU.
Don Juan: Men are extremely superficial, well most of them. The fact that you are over weight doesn’t meant that you can’t get a man but the man you find must be willing to accept you for who you are. I suggest finding a Latin man; Latinos tend to appreciate a woman with a little more curves.
My fiancé is a very loving and caring man. I enrolled in Adams State a couple years ago as freshman and we met on the day of new student orientation. We’re both 20 years old and we’re both from the same town but we’ve never exchanged a word until we came to here. So, it has been 4years and we’ve finally decided to get married before we graduate. But recently, I received a Facebook message (we’re Facebook official) from a woman who lives in Indonesia that claims that she graduated from Adams State a year ago and she has a 3year old son from my fiancé. Please tell me what to do.
Love 101: Let me first congratulate you for meeting your college boyfriend at our New Students Orientation. New Students Orientation is known as the meeting ground for lifelong relationships because the friends you meet there are often the ones that will be with you for your four years in college, and even longer. At this point I will advise you to sit down with your fiancé, show him the message if you have to, and talk about this woman who claims she has a child for him. There are many women out there who would do anything to break a good relationship apart, especially the ex-girlfriends. If you believe that he is worth your love you should try your best to find a solution, regardless of the outcome.
Don Juan: If your man was fooling around with another woman while he was with you and had a child and didn’t tell you he definitely has more secretes to hide. You are only 20 years old and your idea of love is probably pretty basic, so confront your man about the situation and if he gives you the runaround find one that will be faithful. It sounds like he has you wrapped around his finger, get rid of him.
I met a guy at a party on Friday, August 25th but I haven’t seen him at school since. After we made-out a few times on the patio, he ran off saying something about having a curfew but not before we exchanged numbers. He told me he would keep in touch but he never did. I tried calling him every day on every hour but he has never answered, not once. I am wondering if he’s ok. Do you think something happened to him?
Love 101: My dear let me apologize for the hurt you may be feeling. There may not be anything wrong with the guy physically but perhaps he is emotionally disoriented. When you met him, he may have been drunk or out of his mind so that can be a reason why he has not returned or answered your calls. Also, he may have given you the wrong number. Don’t panic, you will see him again, and if not, there are other guys out there waiting to meet you.
Don Juan: If this guy hasn’t called you and you are blowing up his phone with calls then that means that he is not interested. Trust me, if a man wants something he will make an effort to get it, he doesn’t want you. Find another guy to make out with at your parties and don’t stress over it.