The Paw Print’s Dirty Little Secret Column

Dr. Goodlove and Professor Toughlove are not real doctors or mental health professionals. Their advice should not be taken seriously.

Dear Students:  We are Dr.’s Goodlove and Toughlove. We write a weekly advice column called The Dirty Little Column. This is your opportunity to send us questions about sex, drugs, and rock and roll.  OK, maybe not rock and roll, but definitely sex, drugs, and college life if you know what we mean.  After all, we are the experts (or not, but we have a lot of opinions about stuff).   Send your questions to the Paw Print editor at and we’ll treat you to our combined years of wisdom, experience, and BS.
Dear DLC:  Will wearing tight pants mess with my potency? What about tighty whities?
DGL:  If there’s anything we can learn from Seinfeld’s Kramer, it’s that tighty whities do, in fact, affect potency.  In a classic episode, Kramer is told by his doctor to wear boxers because his “boys” needed more freedom.
Short answer – I have no idea. Wear what’s comfortable. If you and your partner are trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant, consult a fertility doctor.
DTL:  First thing’s first, do guys really wear tighty whities anymore?  If you do I suggest you change them, IMMEDIATELY (because they’re just gross)!   However, in all seriousness the answer is actually, yes.  Tight pants, hot tubs, and smoking (yep, smoking) are all supposed to negatively affect sperm count.  You can take this as good news or bad news.  If you’re trying to limit your sperm count, by all means throw on those skinny jeans and strut your stuff.  If you’re not, well, skinny jeans look silly on guys anyway so it’s a double bonus, you can keep your sperm a flowin’ and look good. is powered by WordPress µ | Spam prevention powered by Akismet