The Delicious Doctors are in at ASC

Dr. Chocolate Thunder and Professor Vanilla Lightning are not real doctors or mental health professionals. Their advice should not be taken seriously.

Dear DLC, I currently live on campus and I love my roommate. My boyfriend of a year wants to move in together. I love my boyfriend and I would love to take our relationship to the next level, the problem is we have a very on and off again relationship, we never break up officially but we do fight a lot, is this move a good idea?
CT: I don’t think moving off campus is a good idea. From what I have noticed, students who move off campus become disconnected with their peers and don’t participate in campus activates. The plus side of living off campus is liquor and edible food. Now on the real, why would you want to live with someone you fight with constantly? I think the move will make a bad situation worse. How will you ever catch a breather, if you have to live with him? So stick with your awesome roommate, and enjoy the campus life well you can!
VL:  I agree with my colleague that moving off of campus is not a good idea.  You have the rest of your life to move in with this guy and be miserable.  If the two of you can’t make it work while you have your own space, how on earth will sharing living quarters make it better?  Moving in together is just about as good of a quick-fix for a relationship as having a baby is.  Your already trivial relationship problems will only be intensified when you notice he left you with no toilet paper, or got into your ice cream.  Trust me, it is not a good move to make while your relationship is on rocky ground.
Dear DLC, I do work-study on campus (I won’t say where) and I have a major crush on one of the older ladies I work with. She’s 23, and I’m 19. She is really hot, definitely a 10. We talk all the time while we work, and I’m attracted to how mature she is. Sometimes she’s very flirtatious, but she always says “how much older than me she is”, and “how she remembers when she was 19”. How do I prove to her that I’m worthy of her time?
CT: Check you chasing the cougars! MEOW! Well I must say I’m very impressed that not only her looks but also her maturity level intrigue you. Lord, knows how brainless and inexperienced, the freshmen girls on campus are. I don’t blame you; older women are mysterious, and captivating. The problem you’re going to have is not only landing this feline but also mixing work with pleasure. My advice is having a real conversation with her; something deeper than Black Ops and how thrashed your buddies were this past weekend. Talk about something she genuinely has interest in. Make plans to see her beside work, for example ask her if she’s attending the weekend basketball games, or the upcoming play. Do little things around work for her, like bring her a small surprise, not a diamond ring or anything, more like a soda or candy bar. To land this cougar it’s going to take both time and patience.  Go get her tiger!
VL:  Let me just rain on your clearly freshman-in-college fantasy and tell you that this lady is not in your future.  The reason she says things like “how much older than you she is” is because she picked up on your adolescent lust for her and is trying to hint that it isn’t going to work, naively thinking you’re smart enough to pick up on her subtle hints.  Well, good news for her is that I’m a little more direct.  She’s not into you.  I know, it hurts, but such is life.  The truth is that when she’s graduated and has a career and is looking for husband material…you will be a sophomore.  How intriguing is that?  If this older woman really is a mature as you make her out to be, trust me, she’s not looking to a little cub for romantic fulfillment.  I would stop thinking so highly of your maturity level and start looking at girls within your young grasp, and lay those feelings you have for your coworker aside.

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