Dominique Davis
Throughout my life, I have been lucky enough to get the chance to know very determined and whole-hearted people. One of the most driven people I know would have to be my competitive volleyball coach from high school. Every single day before practice, he would gather us all in a circle and firmly say, “You girls must always fight for what you believe in, and never back down from a challenge.” While he told us this every day for several years, none of us ever realized that our coach too had been fighting a very hard battle for years – trying to marry his male partner. I can honestly say that I have never seen two people so in love and happy with each other. Due to the fact that they are a gay couple, they are not able to do the one thing that they want to do, which is get married. Although it is one of the toughest battles to fight, my coach still continues to fight. He will fight and stay hopeful until he gets the justice that he and all other gay couples deserve.
Gay marriage has been, and will continue to be an emotional debate. But why is it that so many Americans continue to go against two people of the same sex who are in love? This is one question that many people keep asking, but never seem to get an answer to. There should not be any laws or regulations on who is allowed to be married or not. There should not be a government telling two people that they cannot marry because they are of the same sex. Love is love, no matter the circumstances and, therefore, every person in this country should have the right to marry. I strongly believe that gay marriage should be legalized all across the United States. It will not only satisfy the rights and happiness of gay people, but will also be beneficial to straight people and the economy.
Love is always a hard thing to find. But when it is found and it is felt, it is something that a person wants to hold onto forever. Love is love to anyone who finds it. Whether it is two women or two men who are in love, or whether it is one man and one woman, they all feel it the same exact way. Jonathan Rauch, a gay man himself and the author of Gay Marriage: Why It Is Good for Gays, Good for Straights, and Good for America, states that: “Homosexual love is natural and essential for homosexuals; just as heterosexual love is natural and essential for heterosexuals.” Rauch claims that love is the same for both gays and straights. The right to marriage and the right to love is a right that Rauch believes everyone should have. There are many reasons why Rauch believes this. One of his main reasons is that he thinks that marriage can take two people on a whole new level of life and love. He states that, “Marriage gives love a direction, a calling. It promises that love can lead somewhere, to a purpose higher than oneself.” I believe that the most important facet of marriage is love, and nothing else. If two people of the same sex share an unconditional love for each other, than that is all that should matter. Rauch also believes that many people may think that gays are simply trying to legalize gay marriage and soon after feel as though something is owed to them, when in reality the only thing they want is some acceptance. According to Rauch, “Gay people’s request to have their relationships “affirmed”, “recognized”, “supported” may sound as if they want a trophy. What they need, however, is not a pat on the back but solid ground under their feet. They are asking that the law reinforce rather than undermine their devotion.”
One major reason why many straight people don’t believe that gays should be allowed to marry is because of the children who may be involved. Of the 594,000 same-sex couples counted by the Census Bureau in its 2000 survey of American households, 28 percent- just over a third of lesbian couples and just over a fifth of male couples- had children. So many people are against gay couples raising children, but most of the time children always do best in stable homes, and a marriage always seems to make a home more stable. So if this is all true, then why do people insist that it is so wrong for children to grow up being raised by a gay couple? They keep assuming this because they don’t know any better. They continue to make this wrong assumption, but truly have no experience with it. Clearly, if marriage is what seems to make a happy home and happy children, then a gay couple who wants to marry and raise children will do a superb job at it.
Although there are many people who believe that gay marriage should be legalized in all fifty states, there are also many people who oppose the thought completely. In Andrew Sullivan’s Same-Sex Marriage: Pro and Con a Reader, there is a statement on same-sex marriage written by Rev. Joseph L. Charron and Rev. William S. Skylstad. The statement reads as follows: “Thus we oppose attempts to grant the legal status of marriage to a relationship between persons of the same sex. No same-sex union can realize the unique and full potential which the marital relationship expresses.” Both Rev. Charron and Skylstad are basically saying that a gay couple cannot live up to the standards of marriage and what it has to offer, which I strongly disagree with. As I previously mentioned, I believe that every single person is capable of loving one another, no matter the gender. A gay couple in love is fully capable of understanding the meaning and importance of marriage just as much as any straight couple is.
As many might think, legalizing gay marriage will only be beneficial to the gay community and no one else. But I don’t believe that this is true. Yes, of course, it will have the most impact on the gay community, but I think that, if legalized, many other people in the community will also be affected in a positive way. By allowing something to happen that is not always accepted will help people begin to understand that sometimes there is a time for a change. I think that the main reason why some straight people are so against gay marriage is because of the fact that they are so unfamiliar with it. Most people have been brought up seeing a man and a woman marry, so they think that is the only way things should be. According to Rauch, “Where the non-gay world is concerned, allowing gay couples to seal their bonds in law is not just a lesser of evils: it is a positive good.” Rauch is telling his readers that by accepting the gay community and allowing them to marry, a positive and good change will occur for all involved. So by accepting gay marriage in this country and not passing judgment on it, America as a whole would become a more accepting place. If gay marriage becomes legalized, I believe that straight people will soon begin to appreciate others for who they truly are.
When people think of gay marriage, they never really think about how other aspects of the country are being affected. They just think that it is only about two people of the same gender who are trying to get married. That is partially it, but a lot more goes into it than just that. For instance, it takes a lot of time and money to turn gay couples down. The government continues to push away gay couples, and what many people don’t know is that it is costing them money. By opposing gay marriage in America, money is being wasted. Not only is the government putting money into the opposition, but also citizens of America. No matter how hard the government tries to deny the rights of gays, it is slowly becoming a tougher task than they thought it would be. John G. Culhane, a professor of law at Widener University, commented on the hassle of trying to oppose gay marriages through the courts. “As advocates continue their increasingly successful slog of progress through the courts, the push-back response has grown ever more desperate.” Culhane is explaining that denying gay marriage is becoming a very hard challenge not only for citizens but also for the government. This is another reason why I believe that gay marriage needs to be legalized. It is too hard a job to try and deny someone their rights. So if the government would stop putting so much effort and money into banning gay marriage and would spend their time on more important issues in our country and around the world, the economy would benefit greatly.
One of the most well known bans on gay marriages is referred to as Proposition 8, which is based in California. This proposition places a ban on gay marriage and has many strong supporters. There have been some decisions on whether or not the government should overturn this proposition. The people of California voted for this law to pass, and therefore it is hard for most judges and higher level authority to take it back and allow gay marriage. I believe this is not fair at all. If the law is considered so dominant in this country, they should be allowed to overrule this proposition and allow gays to marry. Mark Rosenbaum, legal director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Southern California, believes strongly in making the court overturn the ban on gay marriage. “The core tenet of our constitutional democracy is that fundamental rights of historically disadvantaged minorities are not dependent on the whim of the majority,” he says. The majority of the people should not have the right to rule out a whole entire constitution. It just doesn’t seem fair at all, especially not to all of the gay couples around the country.
If the government and the people against gay marriage would truly consider what they are doing, I think they might be surprised in their actions. What they are doing is exactly what America is against. We, as a country, are supposed to be accepting of one another, not denying the rights of others. The point that I am trying to make here is that I wish the government and some of the people of America would stop wasting their time and money on trying to tell gay couples what to do with their lives. We would be able to use that money for other things that are a lot more necessary. For example, the money wasted on trying to ban same-sex marriage could be used to help feed the millions of people in third world countries all around the world who have nothing at all. One thing that I think that people don’t tend to realize is that by simply legalizing same-sex marriage in this country, we will save so much more money and our economy will start to become as strong as it once used to be. If people would start to understand the certain aspects of same-sex marriage and how beneficial it can be for people around the country, I think that there would be a completely different outlook on the issue.
One of the hardest things in life would be to live knowing that you will never fully be accepted. Gay couples everywhere have to deal with this challenge every day because our country won’t give them a chance to love who they want to love. Legalizing same-sex marriage in America is going to be a hard challenge to fight for years to come. It will literally take an entire nation to fight for the rights of gay couples, because they cannot do it on their own. We must have enough sense to see and to truly realize that gays are deserving of every right that straight people have. The only way that gay couples will be able to live happily ever after with the ones that they love is if people everywhere, gays and straights, work as a team and continue to stand up against this challenge. Everyone must fight for what they believe in. We as a country must know what is right and know that everyone should have the same opportunities. We must look this challenge in its eyes and no matter how hard it may get, we must never back down.
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