Dirty Little Column: April 7

Dear  DLC:  My roommate has a girlfriend who drives me crazy.  Not only is she at our place all the time, but when she does come over she helps herself to the fridge and eats all (and I do mean ALL) the food.  I’m going broke trying to keep her stomach full!  I need to eat too, how can I politely tell her to keep her jaws off my food?

 DTL:   I hate to break it to you but there is absolutely no polite way to tell her to keep her jaws off your food.   It doesn’t really sounds like polite would work with this person anyway.  She obviously feels very comfortable at your house.  Did you, at any point, tell her to “make herself at home?”  If you did then you really have no one to blame but yourself.  Then again, it does sound as if she’s taking it a little too far.

DGL:  Don’t be polite. Politeness either gets misunderstood or ignored.  Here’s the thing though – your problem isn’t with the girlfriend, it’s with your roommate.  He allows her into the house; he has to be conscious of the fact that she’s been eating your food.  So confront him. Be direct.  Keep track of what she eats and give him a bill.

Dear DLC:  I was walking behind this guy today and I overheard him calling his doctor to set up an appointment to deal with an STD, I’m pretty sure it’s my suitemates boyfriend. Should I mention it to her or mind my own business?

DGL:  There’s no question in my mind that you should tell your suitemate.  There are few things more embarrassing than having to tell someone that you may have passed an STD on to them, and the guy may decide not to say anything to her.  Maybe give it a few days and see if anything changes in your suitemate’s demeanor (maybe you’ll be able to tell if he told her). If nothing changes, you could hint at it “have any of you guys ever had an STD or anything?” or just go straight out. The major point is that she needs to know, it doesn’t matter how she learns it.

DTL:  I’m a big fan of minding your own business.  Besides, you did use the word “think.”  If you’re not sure it’s your suitemates boyfriend do you REALLY want to go there?  At least he’s taking an active role and going to the doctor.  That’s at least something, right?

**Dr. Goodlove and Professor Toughlove are not real doctors or mental health professionals. Their advice should not be taken seriously.

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