Dirty Little Column

Dear DLC:  My boyfriend is very metro, wears eyeliner when he goes out, and has a little mermaid poster on his wall.  Past week or so, he has TURNED ME DOWN FOR SEX!!!! Is he gay?

DGL:  I don’t know, have you asked him?  He’s probably the only one who can tell you if he’s gay.  He sounds a little off to me, but if you were attracted to him in the first place, maybe that should tell you something too.  Maybe he was too tired for sex, it happens you know.  Y’all think you can get it whenever you want it, day or night, well I’m here to tell you: we’re not machines, we need to sleep, get a vibrator already.

DTL:  Well, that’s new.  As far as I know it’s pretty much impossible to tell if someone is gay even if he won’t have sex with you, likes eyeliner, and apparently likes the Little Mermaid.  Perhaps he just really likes the movie and is so hung up on Ariel that he’s not able to have sex with you right now.  Frankly, I’d be more concerned about the eyeliner. Does he take it off before you go to bed?  Eyeliner on the pillowcase is so not cool.

Dear DLC: I’m 21, and I keep getting hit on by 16 year old boys.  I’m kinda flattered but at the same time, WTF??!!  What can I do to get the same attention from guys my age?

DGL:  You know, in 20 years you’ll wish you still got that attention (Then again, in the day of the cougar, you may if you continue to stay fit).  I’ve got to wonder where you’re hanging out.  If you’re going out to decent bars or to other age-appropriate venues, it shouldn’t be an issue.  If you’re still hanging out at the movie theatre or Weekends, try finding someplace new.

DTL:  Let me tell ya hon, one of these days you’re gonna be THRILLED to have younger guys hit on you.  Of course, that’s a few years down the road for you since 16 is just a wee little bit young.  In fact, it might be close to illegal, although I’m not a lawyer.

Anyway, back to your question.  I guess I’m wondering what you look like and where you’re hanging out.  Seriously, how often do 21 year olds run into 16 year olds on a regular basis?  I mean, if you’re hanging out at the local skateboard park I think you’re asking for it.  If you look really young…  Well, let’s just say that’s something you’ll appreciate later too.  As for right now I’d recommend you hang out with an ‘older’ crowd and see if that helps.

blogs.adams.edu is powered by WordPress µ | Spam prevention powered by Akismet