ASC’s Dirty Little Column with the Delicious Drs. Love

Dr. Chocolate Thunder and Professor Vanilla Lightning are not real doctors or mental health professionals. Their advice should not be taken seriously.

Dear DLC, A few months ago this guy I was really into drunkenly hooked up with one of my good friends. The next morning he asked me to buy her the morning after pill. I was hurt by the whole situation and never received an apology from either of them. Recently he started talking to me again and all those feelings came back; should I forgive him or forget him?
CT: Girl, you are suffering from D.F.D Dumb Female Disease! The fact that you even starting talking to him again and are considering forgiving him just shows how stupid you are. First of all, he hooked up with your friend strike one. Second, because he is an idiot and forgot to wrap his tool, he asked you to pay for this mistake strike two. Third, he never apologized strike three. You know what that means, three strikes he’s out of the old ball game! Drop this loser and move on with your life.
VL: There are few times when I sincerely hope that the questions we get in are a joke.  This is one of those times. This sounds like a really awful pilot for a college sitcom.  This guy gets the DLC’s coveted Douche Bag of the Year award, and the competition was fierce this year.  On a serious note, forgiveness is a virtue, and you must remember that everyone makes mistakes.  On an even more serious note, I am joking.  Let me ask you a question: What the hell is wrong with you?  Seriously, this situation is five different kinds of effed up.  The fact that you’ve even contemplated any other option other than forgetting this guy even exists is baffling to me.  No amount of feelings is worth putting up with a guy like this, drop him and find yourself a guy who will at least offer to go Dutch on the morning after pills, like a true gentleman.
Dear DLC, I have a friend; lets call him Jack that decided out of the blue to drop me. In a moment of spite, I led on one of his friends, because I knew it would get under his skin.  Now, Jack and me are on good terms, and I feel really guilty about what I did.  What can I do?
VL:  Wow, girls play hardball.  When it comes to revenge, it’s like some mind-ninja head games with you guys, but I guess hell hath no fury, right?  This is the problem with females. You don’t realize that there are consequences for your actions.  This poor boy has feelings, he’s a living, breathing human person, and you’re a cold, heartless siren who used him as a ploy for revenge.  You feel guilty, huh? I bet, as you should!  You need to come clean to Jack and his friend, because they’re going to find out about your cruel mischief regardless.  It’s better you have a chance to explain yourself beforehand.
CT: The fact your having some feelings of guilt shows that you can admit that pursuing this boy out of spite was wrong of you. Admitting that you were wrong and wanting to take action to make up for the damage you have done is the first step in apologizing.  Now that you and Jack are recovered from your falling out it is important that you be sure to go about explaining an apologizing in a manner that will not hurt his feelings but instead reassure him that you are ready to start the friendship off again with honesty. You should also consider apologizing to Jack’s friend; you hurt his feelings and he probably needs closure. If you talk it out with both of them and again mention how sorry you are, I’m sure you can all come to an understanding and move on from the situation.
Dear DLC, I’m finishing up my freshmen year, and all packed up and ready to go home for the summer. The problem is when I came to school I left a girl I was really into. We’ve talked on occasion promising to reunite during the summer months and I certainly still have the same feelings toward her. However, over the school year I have changed I’m really laid back now and am not looking for a real relationship, how do I go about addressing this?
CT: You can either tell her that your not looking for anything emotionally real right now or you can hang out with her all summer wait for her to get attached and then break her heart when you tell her you don’t want to keep things going in the fall. Either way your probably going to land up hurting this girl so it’s better to rip the band-aid off now. If I was in your situation I would take things day by day. When you decide to reunite with this girl explain to her that you really are just looking to have fun this summer and whatever happens, happens. Don’t over think things and just go with the flow.
VL:  There’s nothing wrong with a little summer romance, as long as you’re straightforward with this girl.  Lay down some ground rules.  If you establish that this is purely a summer fling, and won’t continue into the school year next fall, you’ll save you both a lot of wondering where your “relationship” will go.  Just be sure you don’t fall into that eternal love garbage that she’ll try to pull on you. Maybe establish a safety word for when things get to ‘commitmenty’. As soon as she starts up talks about “the future” it’ll be your cue to bail. is powered by WordPress µ | Spam prevention powered by Akismet