Dr. Chocolate Thunder and Professor Vanilla Lightning are not real doctors or mental health professionals. Their advice should not be taken seriously.
Dear DLC, I want to go on a road trip with a guy I’m seeing for spring break, we haven’t been hanging out very long but I really like him. Do you think taking a trip alone with him is a good idea?
CT: Did you do a full background check? Is he a murder, a psycho sex addict, or maybe a bipolar freak? I’m guessing if he doesn’t show any sign of these things I’m assuming taking a road trip with the guy is fine. In all honesty though it will be a lot more fun if you go with a group. I mean, what happens if you get bored with him or get in a huge fight at least you’ll have other friends there instead of driving in awkward silence. Have a great break!
VL: Taking trips alone with your significant other is something you save for your middle-aged married years, when you’ve both already come to accept the things about you that annoy each other and the fact that you have nothing in common to talk about. This can only spell disaster for a new relationship. You don’t want to chase him away or be repulsed into running away before your relationship even has a chance. Going with other people is definitely a better option. It’ll give you and your guy a chance to vacation together, but not overwhelm each other.
Dear DLC, Last semester I hooked up with this guy…a LOT. One day out of the blue he stopped calling me, and ended things. I thought I was over it, until he moved in right next door to my dorm and now I have to see the jerk’s face EVERY DAY! How am I supposed to deal with this?
VL: First off, you have to realize that when you just ‘hook up’ on such a small campus, chances are you will see your hook-up buddy around a lot. Since an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, its probably best you just keep your legs shut if you’re not okay with running into ex-lovers around campus. However, since the problem is already established, I would say stop worrying so much about it. This guy obviously isn’t stressing over the fact that you two have hooked up in the past, so you shouldn’t. It’s not like you two were in a relationship, so he’s not a ‘jerk’ for ending things, he was only exercising his right as a partner in a no-strings attached relationship. If you can’t separate sex from emotions (not that it’s a bad thing) then stop partaking in this kind of thing.
CT: Like my colleague said you can’t blame the guy, you weren’t in a relationship with the kid, you were just his hook up buddy. He didn’t develop feelings and when he was bored with you or found someone new he ended it. I can pretty much name every person on this campus and probably even tell you their dating history or life story. This college is far too small, you’re going to run into everyone you’ve ever hooked up with, end of story. The situation is only as awkward as you make it, so don’t make it awkward and don’t be angry with the guy, he did nothing wrong.
Dear DLC, I’m really into this guy, lets call him “Ben.” He’s cute and funny. The problem is one night my group of friends met up with him and his buddies at a party. Long story short, I drunkenly hooked up with one of his pals, Can I still try and date Ben?
CT: No, no and no! This Ben guy is not going to date you, he may hook up with you and compare sex stories with his pal, he’s a guy, it happens. I’m just saying Ben clearly didn’t try stopping you from getting with his dear friend. Therefore, he wasn’t into you. If the guy wanted to date you, he would have stopped his friend and hung out with you that night. Don’t pursue him now, it will only make you look stupid and slutty. Move on.
VL: You basically just blew any chance you had of a relationship with Ben. Now, you’re the girl who hooked up with his friend, and if he wants anything to do with you, it’ll only be to get some, and then you’ll be the girl who gets passed around to all the friends. It might comfort you to know that Ben wasn’t all that into you to begin with, because then his pal would’ve known that he was and wouldn’t have pursued you. So your whorish ways have robbed you of the chance of a real, meaningful relationship, it’s the college girls’ cross to bear.
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