ASC’s Dirty Little Column with the Delicious Doctor Love

Dr. Chocolate Thunder is not real doctor or mental health professional. The doctor’s advice should not be taken seriously.**

Dear DLC, A few weeks ago, I got really drunk with my best male friend. He confessed that he was attracted to me, and we ended up having sex. Now he is claiming that he was wasted and doesn’t remember what he said, and he’s been avoiding me. I just want things to go back to normal. What do you think I should do?

CT: God invented the “I don’t remember cause I was drunk” excuse so that people can go about their relationships normal without having to deal with romance and feelings and all that crap that comes with it. So if you’re expecting an “I slept with my best friend while I was drunk, there must be some unresolved feeling of true love” snap out of it! You’re not living in a romantic comedy. You’re not Reese Witherspoon, and he isn’t all of a sudden going to stop avoiding the situation to some up on a white horse and confess his love in song. He’s acting like a jerk, play hard right back. Why are you even still trying to be friends with this douche? Never-mind. Just pretend you don’t remember. On another note I’m tipping my hat to your best guy friend I’ve got to respect any guy who can pull a move like getting in the friend zone and finding a way to still get it in.

Dear DLC, My girlfriend has one male friend. They are really close, they hang out by themselves, she never asks me to join them, and oh yeah-he’s a star athlete. Is she going to cheat on me with her?

CT: Ahh, the age-old question: Can a man and women be friends if one of them finds the other attractive? As a person with a few ridiculously hot friends myself I’ll admit, I’ve definitely thought about crossing the friendship line. The hotter the friend, the greater the temptation. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to sexually attack some of my friends when we’re hanging out. So yes the temptation is something that crosses her mind at least 6 maybe 7 times a day. That doesn’t necessarily mean she’s cheating, but it doesn’t mean she isn’t either.  There are lots of reasons she doesn’t invite you to their bonding time, maybe she asks him questions you can’t answer, like maybe your relationship, or maybe she’s riding him like a stallion. My guess is go with your gut and get this thing sorted out before you are on Maury wondering if you’re the father or not.

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