ASC’s Dirty Little Column with the Delicious Doctor Love

Dr. Chocolate Thunder is not real doctor or mental health professional. The doctor’s advice should not be taken seriously.**

Dear DLC, I stole my best friend’s boyfriend. I know it sounds bad but here’s the deal. She didn’t love him. They were just dating because he asked her out and she was too lazy to break up with him. She was always complaining that he wasn’t thoughtful enough or romantic enough and all that. He is the nicest sweetest person and we always had chemistry. I actually introduced them. But then I watched how she treated him and I realized I had developed feelings for him. They broke and we began dating secretly.  How do I tell her, and have her not hate me?

CT: What?!?! Why would you write to me with this?! WHYYYY?! DO YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT GIRL CODE? Okay, look. No. Bad girl. Heel. You can’t just convince this guy to stop dating her to hook up with you and then expect your her to be peachy keen with it. Seriously. Are you kidding me?! Even if you really think he’s like “the one” or some crap like that , then you this is what you should have done: You should have gone to your best friend and TOLD HER. Is that so hard?! I mean, a little communication between besties?! Real talk! your relationship with your best friend is probably unsalvageable.

Dear DLC, When my girl and I are making out, she always gets really dirty, telling me all the naughty things she’s wants to do to me. But when we finally get busy she doesn’t do any of the X-rated things she said he would. Why does she talk such a big game and then not follow through?

CT: There are different reasons why your “she” may be all talk and no action. First, she might just be the type who gets off on talking dirty and doesn’t feel any desire to follow through. Certain words and phrases (too X-rated to print here) create a sexual response in her because they’re not things she would normally ever say. Would she ever act on them? Probably not, but the thought alone is enough to drive get her off like verbal masturbation. Another explanation is that she doesn’t want to put you off by coming off too strong when acting out her desires. Or maybe she’s just too shy (easier said than done) and needs to be coaxed into following her words.


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