Mr. Optimist,
I have a tough problem, and I was wonder if you’d be able to help me. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a couple of years now, and I do love him, but there is another guy that I’m starting to have feelings for. Now I still have feelings for my boyfriend, but I don’t feel right having feelings for two different guys. Can you help me?
~Flustered Girlfriend
Dear Flustered Girlfriend,
The first thing is to not get all worked up about this. This situation happens to a lot of people every now and then; they question about who they are with and why other people appeal to them a little more. The thing that I would suggest is to take some time to reflect, and ask yourself questions such as: Why did you fall in love with your boyfriend in the first place? Are there things that he did when you started dating that you liked and has stopped doing now? What do you like about this new guy that is making you have these feelings? Is it possible that what this new guy is doing is something that your boyfriend can do but is not doing, and if this is the case can you just talk to your boyfriend subtly encouraging him to do these things as well? This could be something as simple as complimenting you every now and then, spending more quality time together, preferably without electronic devices, or hugging you more frequently, or even him being more responsive when you talk to him. This could be done simply with eye contact or answering you with actual words and phrases instead of yeah, no, mhmm, or ok. A key thing is communication with your boyfriend; you don’t have to tell him about the other guy, though before you make any rash decisions I suggest talking to him in order to see if there is anyway to fix what’s wrong in the relationship. Questioning about being with other people usually is caused by a problem that you having in your current relationship. There must be still something there if you’ve been with your boyfriend for a couple of years. Ty to improve on your relationship and see if that works out. Just follow your heart and I wish you the best.
~Mr. Optimist
Having a problem that you just can’t find an answer to? Feel free to write me your problems and I will do my best to get back to you. To contact me just e-mail me at forevertheoptimist27@gmail.com.
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