Dear Musical Maiden and Doodads,
A friend of mine is in love with me, but I’m in love with a boy who hardly knows I exist. I don’t want to hurt my friend, but I don’t feel the same about him and I want this boy to notice me. What do I do?
Sincerely,
Love Triangle Chick
Dear Love Triangle Chick,
This situation can be very tricky. There can be multiple solutions to your problem. First off, for the friend who loves you. My best advice would be to talk to this person and tell them that you cherish their friendship and that you do not want anything to ruin it. I would also make sure that you are not leading them on in any way. It is very easy to “friend-zone” someone and still flirt with them because it is what comes naturally, but I would watch what you do. Try not to flirt with them or make them think there are feelings there other than friendship. As for the guy who you say doesn’t notice you. Have you given him a reason to notice? If not, put your big girl pants on and ask him out for coffee or something. Get to know him and find out what interests him. If there is something there, he will notice you. Just be yourself around this guy and if he’s worth your time, he will love you for you. Go out and get ‘em girl. Be strong and stay smart.
Love,
Musical Maiden
Dear Love Triangle Chick,
I agree with the Musical Maiden that you should reestablish what kind of relationship you want with your friend. As for the crush, find out what his interests are and start up a conversation. If you get him talking about his passions then he will definitely notice you more. You could also just start by saying hello if you are the shy type; that way he gradually memorizes your face. You become familiar to him. Either way you should try your best to be more noticeable.
Your Friend, Doodads
Dear Musical Maiden and Doodads,
How do you tell people that they need to grow up without sounding completely rude?
Sincerely,
Highly annoyed and Stressed out
Dear Highly Annoyed and Stressed Out,
You have a difficult task at hand. Most people will not take being told to grow up very well. I think it depends on the situation you are in also. If it is with your friends, then I would find a way to tell them individually, because when confronted in a group, a person is more likely to feel like they are being attacked, that the way they have been acting is bothering you. Let them know that you don’t wish to change who they are, you just wish they would act more mature in certain situations. If it is people in your class who you don’t really know, I would lead by example. Act mature in classes and try not to react to the immatureness around you. It only encourages it. Make sure you know the difference between being mature and having fun though. It’s ok to be a little immature sometimes.
Best of Luck,
Musical Maiden
Dear Highly Annoyed,
Personally I have always lived by the quote “Growing old is mandatory, Growing up is optional” by Chili Davis. Although being childish all the time is not a very good way to live. If people are acting immature at the wrong times, say like a during a church service or on stage at a musical production, then they really should behave better. It would be optimal to talk to them individually for the same reasons the Musical Maiden has listed above. But whatever you do, try to be as polite and open minded as possible. If they stress you out too much just remove yourself from the situation.
Your Friend,
Doodads
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