Dr. Chocolate Thunder and Professor Vanilla Lightening are not real doctors or mental health professionals. Their advice should not be taken seriously.
Dear DLC, There is this really sweet guy lets call him “Brian” He texts me , calls me, and even cooks for me. He is one of the nicest boys I have ever met and although I like him I can’t keep my mind of this older bad boy “Blake”. I know I should choose Brian, and I don’t want to hurt him, what should I do?!
VL: Well “Brian” seems like Mr. Perfect and you subconsciously must be trying to punish yourself or something. The sad truth is that if you don’t feel it by now you probably won’t. Don’t string the poor boy along and get his hopes up. If it makes you feel any better he seems like a genuinely nice guy so he’s probably used to girls leaving him for a complete douche bag. Just let him down easy, it will be difficult, but it will save him a lot of pain down the road. So suck it up and do it and best wishes to you and “Blake” he seems like a real keeper!
CT: If you’re ready to be involved in a relationship you’ll never really care about and ready to be with a guy your never going to actually have feeling for, Brian is your guy. This Brian is a nice guy, to nice maybe. He deserves a sweet gal who can give him the affection and attention he needs. You’re not doing him any favors by hanging out with him half-heartedly. Bad boy “Blake” has your attention, because like every other girl you’re interested in his mysteriousness and his “broken soul”. I still don’t see the hype over these boys, but clearly you like it, so go for it! Good luck, and please let Brian down gently.
Dear DLC, I hooked up with a guy last weekend (one time meaningless thing) but the problem is that his psycho ex found out. Now her and her posse of skanks want to fight me. I don’t know if I should actually be scared or not, but how do I get these girls off my back?
CT: Ha aren’t ex-girlfriends the greatest? I would tell you to talk to her and let her know that your not interested in him, but you won’t be able to talk to her without her flipping out and attacking you. The truth is she is going to be dumb, and crazy all exs are, so my advice is to just stay clear of her path until it blows over.
VL: First off, I would invest in some pepper spray or a self defense class or only travel with a large group or a large male in close proximity, you can never be too cautious. Having said that, I don’t think you have too much to worry about. Girls are all talk, and this “posse of skanks” is probably the type that is still stuck in that gossiping, bullying, sophomore in high school phase. The fact that she tried to violently attack you is evidence of that. Unfortunately reasoning with her is not an option; you will just have to wait it out till she moves on to her next harassment project. For future reference be more discreet. You shouldn’t have to deal with so much drama for a meaningless hook up.
Dear DLC, I don’t know what I want. Part of me is dying for a functional relationship, the other part of me just wants to be single and have one night hook ups. I love to go out, yet part of me wants to be tied down. Any advice?
CT: I get the sense that you need some form of stability in your life. That’s why part of you craves a functional relationship. You could try getting the best of both worlds by just having a reliable hook up buddy. This would allow you to have that constant person, yet still lead the single life you love. The only thing you would have to worry about is your partner getting attached emotionally.
VL: Umm…you’re in college, what on god’s green earth would possess you to possibly want to be “tied down”? What the hell is wrong with you? You have the rest of your life to be settled down, enjoy life and enjoy being single while you can. You know how adults always refer to their “crazy college year’? Don’t deprive yourself of that. Seriously this might be the only time in your life you can completely go nuts because you can always use the excuse that you are simply acting like a dumb college kid. Why would you want to throw away this golden opportunity on something so impractical like a relationship?
Dear DLC: My friends and I are really excited for Halloween, but I was wondering, how slutty is too slutty when it comes to costumes?
VL: It’s Halloween. Anything goes. Keep in mind however that late October in the SLV is extremely cold so you aren’t going to be looking very hot freezing your butt off. Also cameras will surround you and photos of you in your costume will show up on facebook, but as far as what is socially accepted for you to wear out in public that night, the possibilities are wide open.
CT: As Cady in Mean Girls said “It’s the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it” So go for it. Let the legs and cleavage show! Wear short dresses and low cut tops that show off your lacey undergarments. Have fun and be safe.
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