Dear DLC: There’s a really hot girl who works the counter at the bookstore. I think she flirts with me, but I’m not sure. I mean, she’s nice to everyone. I want to ask her out but I’m not good at rejection. What should I do?
DGL: Ask her out! Here’s the thing: rejection is a part of life. Wait until you graduate and you’re looking for a job – so much rejection. You may as well start getting used to it now. Besides, maybe she won’t reject you. Maybe she’s into you and she really has been flirting. You won’t know until you try. And don’t do any of that stupid, immature high school crap where you ask someone to ask someone to ask her. If she’s interested, that will turn her off. Do it. Ask her out.
DTL: Two generic quotes come to mind here: “No pain, no gain,” and “No risk, no reward.” Yes, I realize I sound like an ad for Nike, but…If you like her, ask her out! Here’s the important part though, so read carefully. If she does happen to turn you down don’t automatically assume that she doesn’t like you, it could just be that she already had previous plans for that night. For example, if she says, “Oh, I’d love to, but I’m already doing ___ tonight,” it may mean she really IS doing something that night. At the risk of being turned down twice I would still recommend trying again. I get that rejection can be hard, but some things are worth being turned down for the first time around.
Dear DLC: My girlfriend goes online and chats with other guys on sex sites, she doesn’t see this as a problem or that it hurts me. She says she isn’t doing anything wrong, what do I do?
DTL: Um, you tell her that is IS hurting you and would appreciate it if she would stop immediately. Seriously, what kind of person chats on sex sites when they’re in a relationship with someone else? If you two are committed to one another, (and you’re both aware that you’re committed to one another) she needs to respect your feelings and log off the computer. If not, I’d say it’s time for you to do your own chatting, with another girl.
DGL: I would say that it depends on the parameters of your relationship. I mean, if you’re both a little kinky, into group stuff (Maybe I’m off-track here, but I have to assume that if she’s into these sites, you may be too) then perhaps your problem is that she’s doing it with other guys now instead of you. I’m not sure I have a point here. If she says she’s doing nothing wrong and you trust her then what do you have to worry about? If you’re worried, there’s probably a good reason for it. Go with your gut, follow your heart, trust your instincts.
**Dr. Goodlove and Professor Toughlove are not real doctors or mental health professionals. Their advice should not be taken seriously.
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