Dr. Chocolate Thunder and Professor Vnilla Lightning are not real doctors or mental health professionals. Their advice should not be taken seriously.
Dear DLC, My boyfriend doesn’t like to show affection in public. At first I was okay with it because I didn’t want to appear clingy, but now its getting out of control. He doesn’t want me to walk too close to him or touch him at all. I understand he needs space, but I have needs too.
CT: So here’s the deal, your boyfriend is playing you sweetheart. He wants to appear single at all times so he can keep his options open, but still have you in private. You’re right, guys do need space, but not that much. Tell him that you need him to be more affectionate, at least a little, or dump him, either way works.
VL: I don’t think this is your boyfriend’s problem as much as it’s yours. Your “need” for attention in public is just evidence that you’re being insecure about your relationship. Just because your man doesn’t want to make your relationship a traveling road show doesn’t mean he’s not into you. If you’re getting all the attention you so desperately need in private, why pressure your boyfriend into doing something he isn’t comfortable with. PDA is annoying, and it does make you seem clingy and insecure, so please, for the sake of those around you, knock it off.
Dear DLC, Now that the first semester is over, one of my roommates is getting a little too comfortable with the rest of us. Recently, she has taken to leaving her vibrator in the shower that all four of us share. It’s so gross, and I feel like it would be awkward to talk to her about, but I can’t put up with it. I mean, I don’t want to shower with that a few feet away. Please help!
VL: My advice is simple: man up and tell her that leaving her vibrator around where you can see it, and have to shower next to it, is not okay. Yes, it will be an awkward conversation but your other alternatives are put up with it or move out. If you’re not into the whole confrontational approach, be a good roomie and leave it where she’ll find it, like her backpack, or taped to her door, I’m sure you’ll think of a place.
CT: Whoa that’s creepy, wait have you ever been tempted to use it? Cause that’s even creepier! Okay, all jokes aside though you need to talk to her and tell her what’s up. I wouldn’t want to stare at her pleasure toys while I lathered my hair. So have a talk with this girl and let her know how disgusting she is being.
Dear DLC, I was out at the bar with my friends and I landed up making out with a this guy. The next morning I had a voicemail from his wife!! I obviously didn’t call back, but I saw her out the next weekend at the bar, with a man who definitely wasn’t her husband. What do I do?
CT: WTF, how did the wife get a hold of your cell phone number, it’s a small valley after all. Anyway, I think you need to shake it off you didn’t do anything wrong, your just a college girl having fun out in the bar. So my advice is continue to go out with your friends and live it up.
VL: Your best move is to stay as far away as you can from this trainwreck of a marriage. If this woman doesn’t know who you are, keep it that way. The truth of their mutual infidelity will eventually come out, trust me they don’t need your assistance. Who knows? Maybe they’re one of those modern couples that are just okay with that kind of thing? Also, be more careful about who you make out with in bars. Alamosa is a small town, and you are bound to run into these people later on.
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