Adams State College’s Dirty Little Secret Column With the Dr. Love’s

Dr. Goodlove and Professor Toughlove are not real doctors or mental health professionals. Their advice should not be taken seriously.

Dear DLC:  My boyfriend has cheated on me in the past.  Recently he re-added his ex as a Facebook friend and has been chatting with her.  I asked him to delete her and stop but he won’t.  He told me I needed to trust him and that it shouldn’t bother me that they’re chatting.  I told him that if he didn’t delete her I would leave him.  Well, he didn’t, and I did, but then I came back.  He’s still friends with her.  Am I wrong about this? Should I let it go or should I leave for good?

DGL:  Cheaters are cheaters and there’s just no way around it. If someone has cheated on you before it’s likely he’ll do it again (or he’s already doing it). I don’t understand why people stay with cheaters, why they think that cheaters will treat them differently (especially after they’ve already cheated on them once).  A friend told me that she stayed with a cheater boyfriend in high school because she was dumb (at the time).  Don’t be dumb.

DTL:  I’m torn here.  How far in the past is in the past?  If we’re talking years ago then I think you might be overreacting just a wee little bit.  If we’re talking a few months ago then perhaps your fears might be a wee little bit justified.  Do you know what they’re talking about?  Does your boyfriend suddenly switch to a screen saver when you walk into the room?  If he’s open about it I’d say you have nothing to worry about, if he’s trying to hide the friendship then I’d start to worry.  In other words, let it go.
As for leaving him for a week and then coming back?  I’d be careful about
that.  If you’re making threats just to get him to do what you want that’s
manipulative and sneaky.  Don’t make a threat if you’re not going to
follow through.

Dear DLC: What does it mean when your crush stops texting you?

DTL: I hate to quote the title of a movie, but it means they’re just not that into you.  Let it go and find a new crush.

DGL:  It means they’re busy. Why do people have to read into everything?!