Veritas

P. V. Martinez
Today we are more connected as a species than ever before. We can tweet with each other on Twitter, comment on each other’s posts on Facebook, Instagram photos of our daily lives, and keep each other up to date about our favorite things on Pinterest. We can even Snapchat one another in case we don’t want to leave a trail of our virtual shenanigans! With so many technological advances it’s hard to imagine anyone ever feeling isolated but many people still confess to feeling very lonely.
According to MIT professor Sherry Turkle, individuals often find themselves pulled in opposite directions by competing forms of virtual communication. In her book Alone Together, she finds that students rarely enjoy quality time with their parents. Instead, they are absorbed by cell phone calls, emails, and text messages. She reveals that many students are torn between traditional forms of communication and virtual forms.
As Betsy Sparrow and Ljubica Chatman point out in their book Social Cognition of the Internet Age, “Many people spend more time online than with any given person.” They find that 21% of time online is spent searching for information, 20% is spent reading content, and 22% is spent in social networking. Ironically, however, people often connect to the Internet in search of human interaction and acceptance!
The Internet provides many opportunities to connect with others. We can belong to support groups online, book clubs, social networks, community organizations, and much more. Given this, one cannot help but wonder, why do so many people report that they feel lonely? Turkle, claims that people often use technology to escape from their real problems; therefore, technology has become a “symptom” of the human condition. She says that “online, we easily find company, but are exhausted by the pressures of performance.” In her studies many students claimed to edit messages many times before actually posting or sending them. People go to extreme ends to manage their “virtual” selves. Not surprisingly, many in her study found difficulties in bridging the gap between their “managed lives” online and their “real” lives beyond the Internet.
In the worst of cases, Turkle reveals that online use can become an addiction that adds to the feeling of loneliness. “The more time spent online, the more one wants to spend time online.” Related to this, researchers from the University of Michigan recently found that frequent Facebook use actually undermines life satisfaction!
So the key to bridging the gap between online life and reality, between being connected and actually feeling connected, is to find a healthy balance. Be present in face-to-face interactions, instead of allowing yourself to be distracted by your various apparatuses. Take the time to look people in the eye when you speak to them, and take a break from technology once in awhile. Allow yourself to experience the moment instead of trying to capture every moment with yet another selfie. After all, do you really need a selfie to validate what you are experiencing, or is the memory of the experience enough?