Dear Open Minds,
My girlfriend is sad because of a close family death. How do I comfort her without being over bearing or having her think I don’t care?
A Concerned Boyfriend
Dear Concerned Boyfriend,
Death is a hard thing to deal with in general. I would suggest just simply being with her. If she needs someone to be there, just be there. If she needs to be a lone, let her be, but make sure she is ok to be on her own. Let her know you are there for her in any way she needs you to be. Every one mourns differently. If she is snappy with you or cries a lot, just try not to take what she says if it’s mean too seriously. She is probably just upset and trying to figure out how to deal with it. Let her have the time she needs to heal. If you just let her know you are there, I think that she will know you care and she will probably tell you what she needs. Best of luck, Musical Maiden
Dear concerned boyfriend,
The best thing to do is to be there for her. She needs you to hold her close and tell her everything will be okay. Be her shoulder to cry on and her go-to-guy when she needs to talk. Try relating to her situation like giving her an example of a time you felt that way. Describe how you dealt with it. But if your girl prefers to be by herself then give her time to grieve and just let her know that you are there for her if she needs you. Use your best judgment because you know her best. Good luck and try to have a good thanksgiving break.
Your friend,
Doodads
Open Minds,
I want to transfer to a different school, but my dad thinks it’s a bad idea because he graduated from here. How do I tell him I’m transferring without upsetting him?
Thanks,
Is This My Right School
Dear Is this my right school,
Have you tried talking to him about what the other school offers that this one doesn’t? I would sit down with your dad and talk about the pros and cons of both schools. Try to understand his point of view, but also make yours clear without getting into an argument. If you still really want to transfer after this discussion then my advice would be to do it. It seems people do better at school when it is on their own terms.
Good luck,
Musical Maiden
Dear Is This My Right School,
Many parents are like this and there are a lot of reasons why. First, they attended that school. It was a great experience for them and they want you to have a good time there too. Second, they trust that school. It’s familiar to them and they know the system. They may even have friends who work there and can keep an eye on you. Last, it’s probably close by, so they can be the ones checking up on you.
If you want to transfer then you should first compile a list of benefits you would get if you switched. Then catch your parents in a good mood and talk to them rationally about this. Let them know that you did enjoy your time here but it would be more beneficial to your education and career to go to (insert school name here). Just remember that regardless of what they say, it is your choice.
Your friend,
Doodads
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